The Beginning (and End) of The Bayarean

twin peaks tele remixed

When I began my blog over two years ago, I had a clear and definitive purpose in mind. But first, background:

trail sign

After dabbling in the blogosphere on Vox and Blogger, I became intrigued by the readers and writers I encountered. Having always felt “different” from those in my immediate social space, I found myself closely relating to the stories of the people I was following. Young women, my sistas, navigating life and love through a lense of positivity, awareness, cultural pride and complexity. Finally! I’d found a space that made sense to me. An anonymous realm of raw words and unapologetic truths. New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle….nationally these women, who were just like me, connecting the dots otherwise disenfranchised by geography and dial-up internet. I felt encouraged, no I felt obliged, to add my own voice to the conversation. Who better than me could capture the essence of the Bay in 100 words or less?

city view 1So I blogged. I wrote. I confessed. I struggled. I shared. It was amazing.

But my life slowly began to change. Through a series of events (travel, heartbreak, failure, success, isolation) I was transformed, both spiritually and mentally. The old me became the true me. And those old ways and approaches became a thing of the past. I changed, and so my blog’s purpose sputtered and trickled along….until now.


Now I realize that the original goal for my blog is no more. I fought against that truth for long enough, afraid of the exile sure to come from abandoning my safe place. Now that I know what I DON’T want, I’m that much closer to what I DO want. And I want to share that with others: individuals and businesses whose purpose I believe and share in. Inspire others as they’ve inspired me. But in order to say hello to my future, I have to say goodbye to my past.


Why I Walked Down the Aisle on My 1 Year Anniversary


I am a newlywed; a honeymooner; a Mrs. And though my wedding ceremony took place one mere month ago, I’ve actually been married much longer. A total of one year. Confused yet? Let me explain.


When I got engaged, it wasn’t a huge surprise nor was it a trial to decide if I wanted to be married. Instead, it was a thoughtful initiation, a traditional stepping stone down the aisle. Having recently renewed my relationship with God, I knew I wanted to move forward according to His word. That being said, I didn’t have the funds nor patience nor interest in rushing the ceremony I’d waited 30 years to partake in. At the same time, bae and I knew we wanted to live together and plan our dream wedding at the same time. After talking with our awesome pastor, we reached a decision: to quietly get married, move in together, and plan our wedding for the next year. We put aside all outside opinions and followed our hearts. It wasn’t easy, however, and caused rifts between myself and family members, who felt hurt by the exclusion. After many sincere apologies, genuine discussions and fervent prayers, our families rallied together to make our dreams come to fruition.


One year later, I stand here emotionally exhausted, eternally grateful and blissfully happy to have stood in my belief and faith that God would work it all out. It has been an amazing ride, and my wedding day was all I dreamed: intimate, tropical, emotional and full of love.brideMy wedding and matrimony was everything I desired because I listened to my heart. It’s so easy to get caught up in the ways of the world, and even the opinions of those you love, but I urge you to stand strong in your belief, whatever that may be. Your dreams might actually come true.

The Cleanse Life: 10 Things I Learned

That’s it friends. I completed my three and a half day cleanse and can now call it a success. Not only do I feel better, but those around me can actually see the physical change, which is a huge accomplishment to achieve in only three days! So, what did I learn? Read on below:


  1. The human body is an amazing, mystifying and wonderful specimen. Push yourself, your body can handle it.
  2. Cleansing actually gives you supplemental energy, and it’s all natural.
  3. Some of the best remedies can be found in the refrigerator.
  4. The mind is a powerful tool. Use it wisely and you can accomplish anything.
  5. I tend to associate food with happiness, and that can either be a negative or positive thing for me.
  6. Cleansing (or fasting) is the quickest way to clear your mind.
  7. Coffee addiction is real (I couldn’t let it go).
  8. Water is the most taken-for-granted resource.
  9. There is a difference in taste between tap and bottled water. Whether bottled water comes from a geyser or not, it tastes waaay better.
  10. I’m a foodie. I like to eat food, especially when it is homemade and healthy. Being without it was a little boring.
Have you ever tried a cleanse? What did you learn?


The Cleanse Life: Day Three

Day Three was challenging, but not as hard as I imagined. By this day, my body has adjusted to hunger pains, and I no longer wait to get up and use the bathroom. I just go, constantly. No matter what I’m in the middle of, I don’t hesitate. And this has saved me on several occasions. I’m starting to feel energized, and that means the detox is working. But I’m hungry, y’all. I can’t lie!


8:45 am – I woke up this morning feeling good and energized. I resisted the urge to eat last night, and today is the last day of the cleanse. Then, I looked into my bag and realized I’d forgotten my detox juice. O.M.G. There’s no way I’ll survive a day without it; water cannot sustain me. Only one thing left to do: beg hubs to bring it to me. He won’t be happy :/

12:15 pm – Hallelujah, thank you Jesus! One of the greatest things about being married is the sense of obligation. Even when you don’t feel like doing something for your S.O., you know you should. So you do. And usually, it ain’t so bad. I am so much better at being a wife than a girlfriend because of it. The day has been saved. Thanks hubs!

3:00 pm – This is the longest Friday ever. Not only because I can’t have a snack, but because no one else is here. Welp, at least I don’t have to disguise my many trips to the bathroom. No need to walk, I can full-fledged run to el bano. Yes!

7:30 pm – I had to drive to Berkeley after work and run a couple of errands. This means I’ve had to use several public bathrooms along the way. Today I realized that Berkeley reminds me of San Francisco. And not in a good way. Yuck!

11:45 pm – I tried to have a beer to celebrate the end of my cleanse (I know, I know), but only got a few sips in before I decided against it. The fact that I don’t even want to finish it is celebration enough.

I did it!!!!! I completed my three day cleanse!!

If you missed why I decided to do the lemon detox cleanse, read my earlier post, The Cleanse Life: Follow My Journey and catch up with my Day One and Day Two recaps.