Writing Ain’t For The Weak-Hearted

(Yes, my title is grammatically incorrect. But it so perfectly captures the essence of this post, that quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.)


Writing ain’t for the weak-hearted. Baring your soul, one consonant at a time, isn’t for the lame, nor the fearful, nor the proud. Tapping your trials, your tears, your triumphs, one key at a time, ain’t for perfectionists, prima donnas or princesses. Naw, this writing and revealing and purging is for wildflowers, dandelions and tumbleweeds, who persevere through mistakes, roll past disappointment, spring past concrete and bloom in the darkest places. These imperfect, sensitive and sage souls refuse to crumble under expectation and rebuke the weight of the world. They cry, they scream, their hearts break, over and over, and they give up. Only, they try again. They type feverishly, their words are their redemption. And if even one person reads it, and gets it, and is comforted, well, their purpose is fulfilled.

Because writing ain’t for the weak-hearted. Not when real life shatters you, scolds you, disappoints you, yet your words bring light and your stories bring truths. You overcome, one vowel at a time.

Here’s to YOU, the strong-hearted. You know who you are.

For Diamond


You were a diamond, you sparkled and glistened. You twinkled in mischief and fun, never settling in sorrow or fear.

You were a diamond, divine in your human error and constant faults, cut severely in ridges and angles meant to provide an armor of bravado. Your glass encasing seemed bulletproof.

You were a diamond, a gem to those who discovered your warmth, your humor, your lust for life. You were a hidden treasure that not all could see,  but many desired.

You were a diamond, rich in your ability to glide through life effortlessly. Along the way, you were chipped, and cracked, and tarnished, but you never broke. You polished those blemishes and shone again. Brighter.

You were a diamond, and I cherished that. In our quest for meaning, we found friendship, and I’m so grateful for that truth.

Shine bright now, Diamond, for you’re an angel, casting light on us all.

Rest in paradise, friend. Diamond.

Four Writers You Should Be Following


With long summer work hours, new projects, and a destination wedding on my plate, my poor blog has suffered greatly. Alas, pumping out thinkpieces and event recaps has proven more difficult than ever. Still, I haven’t completely disappeared from the blogosphere. No, instead, I’ve become much more of a listener (or reader) than talker (or writer). This voluntary silence has allowed me to rediscover some really amazing writers–interesting, ambitious and credible wordsmiths. Their words have power, and their passion has purpose.

These writers’ work span numerous blogs and news sites, so it can be hard to keep up with them all. Luckily, I’ve found that following them on Twitter is the best way to stay in the loop. Whether it’s a LAHH recap, an Ebony thinkpiece, a Root op-ed, or a Ferguson update, these four writers are the best at keeping me enlightened and informed.

Demetria (Lucas) D’Oyley

Better known as the “Belle in Brooklyn” and recently seen on Bravo’s Blood, Sweat & Heels, I discovered Ms. Demetria’s blog about two years ago. She shoots it straight, no chaser. Her words are honest and come from a genuine place, leaving readers like myself coming back for more. And more.

Jamilah Lemieux

Her journalistic career is full of accolades, but it’s her “real” personality that resonates with me. While her words can be sharp, her perspective is clear, and she consistently delivers the rawness we crave, dipped in unapologetic facts. She DOES it.

Michael Arceneaux

Known for his hilariously snarky tone and candid confessions, Michael Arceneaux rides just as hard for his opinions as he does for Beyonce and H-Town (aka Houston, his hometown). And believe me, he goes IN. His articles give me LIFE, and his ability to teeter between satire and seriousness is pure genius.

Ta-Nehisi Coates

Writer, editor and author Ta-Nehisi Coates is everywhere these days. His growing popularity parallels the troubled race relations increasing nationwide. Through his critiques and publications, Coates aims to continue the conversations so many Americans refuse to have about race, and he does so brilliantly. Not without conflict of course, but his ability to speak his truth stirs emotions across barriers.

What about you? What writers are you following?

The Ex Files: To Share or Not To Share


I went back and forth for hours, contemplating whether to write this post or not. You see, when you’re in the throes of marriage, the boundaries are stacked in steel, unlike the crackly concrete and tepid tar walls you experience while dating. Nope, this married thing is a sacred, treasured, tricky thing. But since when is censorship a part of MY story? It isn’t, so here goes:

I don’t feel like I’m responsible to share my personal life with my exes.

A while back, I found out one of my exes was betrothed. Though surprised, I was unconcerned. Honestly, I was borderline offended to be on the receiving end of the news, considering I no longer speak to him and haven’t in years. I wouldn’t want people sharing my story with my ex,  and definitely not in a passing conversation. Isn’t that the point of social media? To avoid those awkward moments?

Much to my annoyance, someone did just that. Shared the joy of my engagement in a passing conversation to the only ex I am still “coo” with. Several texts and conversations later, my verdict remains. Yes, I probably should’ve told him, but extenuating circumstances made me think it would do more harm than good. Though I wish the method of delivery would’ve been different, the facts remain. I’m not responsible for sharing my personal life with my exes.

Or am I? What do you think?